"Family" church

So I was thinking about the good, and bad, of thinking about church as a family.  I saw another church book talking about this dynamic, and immediately called to mind a struggle I see far too often.  Maybe that doesn't strike you as an issue, but as the head (Father, ha, get it) of a Church it's something I've really struggled with.  Because I have a great family.  And I think of family as incredibly positive thing.  If I'm going to call something family-friendly, or use family as an adjective to describe something, it's going to conjure up great images for me.  Unless it's used to talk about a church.  In which case I kind of cringe.
Why?  Well, really because of only one thing.  The only way you can join a family is by getting married into it, or by being born/adopted into it.  Right?  That's the reality.  To truly be family, that's how we see it.  Sure, occasionally you feel part of a family without one of those two connections.  But how often do those connections last?  Does that family feel really stay?  I've been very close to a number of families over the years, but the ones I call my family are still my born/adopted/married clan.  Which is fine, I don't mind that all.  But what does that mean when we call our church a family?
It's a great question, and one I'd be curious as to your thoughts on as well.  After all, I've been at a lot of churches that felt like a family.  And, therefore, they were equally both great, and frustrating.  Because if you were part of the "family" you felt welcome and included and like you were home.  But I've talked to too many people that came to a church that was a "family" and they never felt welcome.  They never felt like they belonged.  And most stopped trying to join it after too short a time.  The family was too hard to join, and so they never did.  And who knows if they ever risked trying to join another family.
So, the church felt great to those who already belonged.  But it wasn't so great for those outside of the family.  What to do?  Do you try to keep the family feel at your church and just make sure that everyone feels welcome?  Do you not worry about church feeling like a family, and worry more about it feeling like a church?  Tough questions, and ones I don't know the answers too.  But, it sure got me thinking this week.

Don't go to church, Be the Church

Bill